I am a full-time single mom. Which means, I am ‘ON’ 24/7. I do get a break of sorts every month or two when they spend time with their dad. But I’m the primary parent. It’s really fun and not at all exhausting. Ha!

My kiddos recently spent a week with their Dad while I travelled out of town. Where they are with me full time, a week was a long time to be apart. The evening I got home, my oldest son was cuddling me. He was wrapped around me in a hug in his bed, with his head resting on my lap. He said to me ‘you’re so warm’.  I thought he meant my skin, so I touched my hand. It didn’t feel warm to me.

Then he said words that will forever ring in my ears. “You’re like home to me. My safe place. You’re warm’.

It took everything in me not to cry. I simply said ‘awwwww, thank you, love’. But what I wanted to say was ‘thank you’. Thank you, my child, for giving me, your mother, the most beautiful compliment you could have ever given me.

You see, a few years ago, after separating from his Dad, my young son was a hurt, sad and even a little bit angry. For a couple years, we navigated torrential waters. He’d often hurl negative words at me, and while I would try to let them bounce off me, they cut me deep. My counsellor would say that he said these things for one reason only: because he knew that I was his safe place and no matter what he said, I wasn’t going anywhere. It didn’t make it right, and it didn’t make it hurt any less, but knowing why he was saying them, made me love him harder.

So I listened to him lash out. I watched the tantrums. While I could have handled things much differently, many would have, but instead I chose to hold on tight and love him through it.

It worked.

It took some time, but there are no more negative words being spat out of hurt and anger. In fact, today, if he says anything remotely disrespectful to me, he apologizes and hugs me.

That night, on my bed, he finally vocalized accepting what was always right there in front of him all along. Me.

It’s me.

I’m warm.

I’m safe.