I recently went on a family vacation. My boyfriend and I took the kids to Prince Edward Island. Ultimately, I was travelling from one island in Atlantic Canada to another.  We decided to travel by car, as opposed to plane, which of course involved a ferry ride. Probably not a smart decision for someone (aka me) who gets motion sick. Nonetheless, we set off on our journey.

The long (ferry) ride

Thanks to mother nature, what was supposed to be a 16-hour ferry ride resulted in us being on board the ship for 24 hours. Eleven hours of which we were docked, waiting for the wind to die down enough for us to leave. As you can imagine, it was a long, tiring and boring wait. It was hellish for me and I’m a grown ass adult, so no doubt it was hard for the children on board.

We finally departed overnight and started our voyage toward Nova Scotia (where we would then leave from and drive to PEI). With the help of iPads, a small fortune on food, and anti-nausea meds, we managed to distract ourselves before settling in for sleep.  We started off in the lounge area chairs but ended up on the floor. The germaphobe in me lost this war, as I was too tired to care what was living on the carpet of the ferryboat.

Wake up call

I was woken early in the morning to a young boy yelling. He was accompanied on board by his mother, father and a sister close in age, possibly his twin. His mother was trying to calm him down, reminding him that people were sleeping. As a mother myself, I didn’t think much of this, rolled back over and ignored the disruption. We had a few hours left to dock.

As time passed, the little boy, likely aged 3-4, continued acting up. He was throwing the iPad on the floor, pillows at his mother, whining and not listening well. Trust me, I am only relaying events when I mention this, not passing judgement.  

On board entertainment

At one point, the sister started getting motion sick. The mom tended to her, but also reassured the concerned boy that his sister would be ok. Within a minute, at the sight of the vomit, the little boy himself started getting sick. So here was mom, two kids puking all over the ferry floor. The father ran for paper towel, while Mom stayed and cared for both kids. She never wavered, showing no signs of stress.

After they stopped getting sick, the girl sat silently, likely sleeping. But the little boy had lots of energy left in him. He was a handful.

Once the little girl woke, she decided to join forces with her brother. For about an hour before it was time to get off, the two of them were running around, squealing, hitting, throwing things. Refusing to put on shoes while running down the ship corridor.  All while the other 60 people in the lounge area either watched, tried to ignore, or tried to sleep.

An uninvited audience

From start to finish, this family had eyes on them. Some were annoyed eyes, some were judgy eyes, and some were sympathetic. My eyes were on the mother.  Despite her kid’s behavior and the audience, she was calm, authoritative, said all the right things, even turning tantrums into teaching moments (for example, ‘if you decide to throw your iPad, it won’t work, then you won’t be able to watch it. Do you think throwing it would be a good decision?’).

I was in awe of her! Not only because she kept her cool, but because she didn’t seem fazed by the audience.

We were all tired, dirty and impatiently waiting to get off the damn boat. Moods likely weren’t the best at this time. If I had young kids acting out, my anxiety would have been on bust. I would have been more concerned about shutting my kids up to stop the stares than teaching any lessons. I would have undoubtedly lost my cool, raised my voice, been apologizing to strangers, or moved to a new room. There also would have been tears. The stress would have sent me (and many other mothers) over the edge. But not this mom.

Based on her level of patience and lack of voice raising, I thought to myself that this woman must be a teacher. She had to be professionally trained to handle these situations. Either that, or she was an alien. Or on drugs. Which, I wouldn’t have blamed her for at this point.

Hats off to the cast

Finally, we got the call to head to our cars, as we had docked in Nova Scotia. As I was gathering our things, I kept looking at this mother, going back on forth on whether I should say something to her.  I started walking out of the lounge area and was almost through the door when I stopped and backed up a few steps, directly in line with this super woman wearing no cape. From one mother to another, I knew I needed to say something, or I’d regret it.

“Excuse me“, I said, ” I just wanted to commend you on your parenting. I have two boys, and I have been where you are, and I know how hard it can be.  You handled the situation so very well and I wanted to acknowledge that“.

She laughed and thanked me. She was appreciative of the comment, I could tell. I am sure when I started talking, she thought I was going to complain. She then told me that she is a teacher. I said that I suspected same. She wished me a great day and thanked me for the compliment.

Final thoughts

I thought about those kids and that mother even after we left the ferry. When my own kids, despite being older than hers, acted out or gave attitude I tried to remain calm when I wanted to lose my cool. It wasn’t always easy, especially when we were in public (aka the return ferry ride) and there were watching eyes on me. But I tried.

I am glad I took the time to commend this woman. It may have made her feel good, yes, but it also made me feel good. I would hope someone would have done the same to me. I sure as heck wish, back in the toddler tantrum days when I had to take my kid under my arm and march out the door at Walmart, that someone would have done this for me. No one did. It was all eyes, just watching eyes.

Us Mothers, we must stick together. We are all battling the same fire, and it’s much better to do that together, than alone.

I commend us all.